Rewriting the Bullshit Stories I’ve Been Telling Myself

Let me be clear—these are the inside stories—the quiet ones that go virtually undetected. The ones that the lower-self whispers to ego in the dark while I sleep. The ones that creep into waking hours, leaving me drained, like I haven’t slept a wink, but time tells me differently. My head buzzing like a beehive; insects come and go weaving ideas into knots constricting the gentle ease I have become accustomed to.These stories are exhausting and harmful. They keep me tethered to old beliefs I no longer wish to engage.

But yet, I do.

To be honest, I wasn’t even sure what these stories were—until I wrote them down…
• It’s too hard
• I don’t know how
• Someone else is more qualified
• I am not good at it
• People will see me fail
• When I do fail, it will be proof that I wasn’t good enough to try it
• It was hard enough to get here—if I’m not successful in this next phase, than it will all be for nothing

I hear a little girl’s voice saying, “It’s too hard and I am not good at it,” she is my younger self. I hear the teenager and adult alike in these statements; a reminder there are parts of me in need of healing. My knee-jerk reaction is frustration and impatience.

WHY, am I still working through this?

Stop. Breathe. Release.

Is that how I would respond to a child? A friend? A partner? No.

There is no time limit on change. It is a cycle spinning around and around. In sacred geometry I see myself in the spiral of life, swirling and meeting up with the old, releasing, and returning only to dive deeper. Understanding and honoring my shadow side is the path towards light.

Accepting the contrast, seeing the fragile beauty that resides inside of ourselves, is not only a gift, but is a necessary part of shifting. Today, I am grateful for the awareness and my decision to allow the cycles to flow freely. May you see the darker parts of yourself with kind eyes and a compassionate heart and know you have the power within to rewrite your story.

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